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11 Christmas Jokes to Brighten Your Holiday

Ho ho ho! Feeling festive? These Christmas jokes will have you laughing louder than Santa’s belly shake. Warning: excessive cheer, snort-laughing, and spontaneous caroling may occur. Proceed with caution… and cookies!Jingle all the way to laughter! Grab your eggnog and settle in for some holiday hilarity. These jokes are Santa-approved and guaranteed to make you laugh harder than your uncle after too much Christmas pudding. Santa Claus laughing in the snow | Source: MidjourneySanta Claus laughing in the snow | Source: MidjourneyMike drummed his fingers on his desk, staring at his phone. His wife Janet gave him a knowing wink from across the room, already struggling to contain her laughter. Time for their annual Christmas scheme.”Hey kiddo,” Mike said after his 20-year-old son picked up in Fairbanks, trying to sound devastated. “I hate to drop this bomb, but… your mother and I are getting divorced.””WHAT?” Ryan’s voice cracked so hard that his neighbor’s cat fell off the windowsill. “Dad, you can’t be serious! You just posted those matching Christmas sweater photos!”A shocked young man holding a phone | Source: MidjourneyA shocked young man holding a phone | Source: Midjourney”Dead serious. Can’t stand looking at her cookbooks anymore. Three hundred and forty-two sugar cookie recipes is where I draw the line. Call your sister in Sydney. I’m done talking about it.”Ryan immediately called his sister Ashley, nearly dropping his phone in his panic. “Dad’s lost his mind! They’re getting divorced over a cookbook!””OVER MY DEAD BODY AND EVERY CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT I OWN!” Ashley screeched, making her office plants wilt. She speed-dialed home. “Listen here, old man! Don’t you DARE sign anything! Ryan and I are flying home TONIGHT!”A shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: MidjourneyA shocked woman talking on the phone | Source: MidjourneyMike hung up and high-fived Janet, and both of them doubled over with laughter. “Works every year. Both kids coming home for Christmas. And they’re buying their own tickets!”Janet wiped tears from her eyes. “Should we tell them this is how we got them to come to Thanksgiving too?””Nah,” Mike grinned. “Let’s save that trick for Easter!”An older man with a wicked grin | Source: MidjourneyAn older man with a wicked grin | Source: MidjourneyEleanor had been working in the Dead Letter Office for five years, but she’d never seen anything quite like this — an envelope addressed simply to “God” in shaky handwriting that looked like it had been written during an earthquake.Inside was a letter that made her heart squeeze:”Dear God, I’m Martha, 85 years young and running low on miracles. Some sneaky youngster with unusually fast hands swiped my purse yesterday with my entire month’s pension. $120. I’ve got five dear friends coming for Christmas dinner, and now I can’t even afford a can of cranberry sauce. I know you’re busy with world peace and all, but could you spare a miracle for an old lady with a sweet tooth and empty cupboards? Love, Martha (the one with the crooked garden gnome collection at the end of Maple Street).”A lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: MidjourneyA lady postal services worker reading a letter | Source: MidjourneyEleanor shared the letter with her coworkers. By lunch, they’d collected $116, raiding coffee funds, lunch money, and that secret candy bar stash everyone pretended not to know about.A week after Christmas, another letter arrived:”Dear God, You’re a real peach! That $116 you’d left in my mailbox made for the best Christmas dinner ever! My friends said it was divine intervention. I’d say they’re right! Even my arthritis felt better! P.S. Some sticky-fingered postal worker must’ve skimmed $4 off the top. Might want to look into that. I hear you’ve got connections with Santa’s naughty list! Love, Martha.”A cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: MidjourneyA cheerful older lady enjoying Christmas dinner with her friends | Source: Midjourney”Code Red! Code Red!” Junior Elf Timothy squeaked into the North Pole intercom, his voice cracking like ice in hot cocoa. “Four senior elves down with candy cane flu! The toy production line looks like a modern art exhibition!”Santa rubbed his temples, watching the trainee elves turn teddy bears into abstract sculptures. Mrs. Claus chose that perfect moment to chirp, “Honey, Mother’s coming for Christmas! She’s bringing her entire fruitcake collection… even the one that set off the North Pole airport security!”In the stables, Rudolph was organizing a reindeer union strike, demanding premium carrots and heated stalls. Dancer was in labor (terrible timing), and Prancer had eloped with a local moose named Bruce who promised her a cabin in the woods.Startled Santa Claus | Source: MidjourneyStartled Santa Claus | Source: MidjourneySanta trudged to load the sleigh, only to hear an ominous CRACK! The floor splintered like thin ice, sending toys scattering everywhere like confetti at a New Year’s party gone wrong.Stumbling inside for coffee, he found the elves had replaced it with sugar-free hot chocolate with a tag that read: “It’s healthier, Boss!” The milk jug slipped from his hands, shattering into a million pieces that sparkled like evil little stars on the kitchen floor. The cleanup broom looked like it had been through a beaver party. Suddenly, the doorbell buzzed.Santa Claus holding a broom | Source: MidjourneySanta Claus holding a broom | Source: MidjourneySanta yanked open the door, ready to cancel Christmas entirely. There stood a tiny angel, struggling under a massive Christmas tree that made her look like a sprite with an oversized umbrella.”Special delivery!” she beamed, twinkling with festive cheer. “Where would you like me to stick it?”And that’s why Christmas trees have angels on top, sporting slightly alarmed expressions and questioning their career choices.An angel under a Christmas tree | Source: MidjourneyAn angel under a Christmas tree | Source: MidjourneyTommy and Jack were spending Christmas Eve at Grandma Rose’s house, famous for her legendary sugar cookies and selective hearing that rivaled military-grade noise-canceling technology.At bedtime, Tommy (age 6) knelt beside his bed and began his strategic prayer:”DEAR GOD, I WOULD REALLY LOVE A NEW XBOX…””AND A REMOTE CONTROL DINOSAUR THAT ACTUALLY BREATHES FIRE…””AND MAYBE A ROCKET SHIP WITH REAL ROCKET FUEL…”A little boy praying | Source: MidjourneyA little boy praying | Source: MidjourneyJack (age 8) nudged his brother, rolling his eyes. “Dude, volume control! God’s not streaming on Spotify!”Tommy shot back with a mischievous grin that would make elves proud. “Yeah, but Grandma is doing her Christmas shopping tomorrow, and her hearing aid’s been acting up since she tried to bluetooth it to her toaster!”A little boy looking up and laughing | Source: MidjourneyA little boy looking up and laughing | Source: MidjourneyLinda lost track of her husband Dave at the crowded mall during last-minute Christmas shopping. After 20 minutes of searching between the endless sea of panic-buying shoppers, she called his cell.”Dave, where on earth did you disappear to? The mall closes in an hour!””Honey,” his voice softened mysteriously, “remember that fancy jewelry store from our first Christmas together? The one where you fell in love with that stunning sapphire necklace, but we were so broke we could barely afford the window shopping?”A man talking on the phone | Source: MidjourneyA man talking on the phone | Source: MidjourneyLinda’s heart fluttered, her anger melting faster than a snowman in July. “The one on Fifth Street? Oh my god, Dave… you didn’t…””Well,” he paused dramatically, “I’m in the dollar store next door. They’re having a massive sale on gift bags! Three for a dollar! Want me to grab some?”A woman gaping in shock | Source: MidjourneyA woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney”Hey Emma,” her little brother Charlie called from the doorway, munching on his third candy cane of the morning. “You should totally join the Christmas choir at school! They’re still accepting applications!”14-year-old Emma stopped practicing her scales, hope blooming in her eyes. “Really? You actually like my singing? After all this time?””Nah,” Charlie grinned, revealing red and white striped teeth. “But they only perform once a year, and I already know which day to wear my noise-canceling headphones!”A stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: MidjourneyA stunned teenage girl holding a songbook | Source: MidjourneyAt the office Christmas party, Tom was bragging about the amazing gift he got his wife Sarah, waving his phone around with photos.”Check it out, man. Diamond earrings! Cost me a fortune, but worth every penny!”His coworker Steve whistled, sipping his fourth cup of spiked eggnog. “But didn’t Sarah specifically ask for that new SUV? The one she’s been hinting about since last Christmas?””She did,” Tom smirked, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “But try finding a fake Ford Explorer that’ll fool your mother-in-law!”A man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: MidjourneyA man holding a pair of earrings and laughing | Source: Midjourney”Dad, pleeeease can we get a real Christmas tree this year?” little Jimmy begged for the hundredth time, giving his best puppy dog eyes. “I’m tired of explaining to my friends why our plastic tree smells like a basement and old tennis shoes!”Frank grabbed his axe and wallet, sighing dramatically while secretly winking at his wife. “Fine. The things I do for Christmas spirit…”He returned suspiciously quickly with a perfect tree, not a drop of sweat in sight.A man holding an axe | Source: MidjourneyA man holding an axe | Source: Midjourney”That was fast,” Jimmy said, eyeing the pristine axe. “Did you even use it?””Nope!” Frank grinned proudly. “But the tree lot guy offered a 75% discount when I started examining the trees with it! Sometimes the best lumberjack is the one who never swings!”A stunned boy | Source: MidjourneyA stunned boy | Source: MidjourneyThree brothers — Richie, Steve, and Joe — gathered for their annual post-Christmas brag-fest about their gifts to their 80-year-old mother.Richie puffed up his chest. “I built her a mansion with an elevator and a meditation room!”Steve smirked, twirling his car keys. “Amateur. I bought her a Rolls-Royce with a personal chauffeur!”Joe leaned back, sipping his cocoa. “You guys are so last season. Remember how Mom loves the Bible but can’t see well? I found this amazing parrot that recites the entire Bible on command. Took the church elders twelve years to train him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse!”A person in church holding a parrot | Source: MidjourneyA person in church holding a parrot | Source: MidjourneyTheir mother’s thank-you notes arrived the next week:”Dear Richie: The mansion’s lovely, but I’m too old to remember which of the 7 bathrooms I left my glasses in.Dear Steve: The car’s beautiful, but my driver keeps falling asleep during my stories.Dear Joe: The chicken was pretty small but delicious! Especially with the sage stuffing!”Roasted chicken on the table | Source: MidjourneyRoasted chicken on the table | Source: MidjourneyKaren spotted the perfect Christmas party dress sparkling in the store’s window display, guaranteed to make her the talk of the office party.”Excuse me,” she called to a passing saleswoman. “Could I try on that gorgeous shimmery dress in the window? The one with the sequins?”The saleswoman clutched her pearls, looking thoroughly scandalized. “Absolutely not, Ma’am! We have perfectly good fitting rooms for that sort of thing. This isn’t that kind of establishment!”A dress displayed in a store | Source: MidjourneyA dress displayed in a store | Source: MidjourneySophie was driving her mom crazy with constant battles with her teenage sister Madison. The latest war was over borrowed (stolen) Christmas sweaters and who ate the last gingerbread cookie.Mom had enough. “That’s it! I’m calling Santa!”She dialed her brother Bob, resident Santa impersonator extraordinaire. Sophie’s eyes grew huge as Mom detailed her crimes against sisterhood, including the Great Hair Dryer Incident of last Tuesday.”Santa wants a word with you,” Mom handed over the phone, trying not to smirk as her master plan unfolded.A smiling woman holding a phone | Source: MidjourneyA smiling woman holding a phone | Source: MidjourneyUncle Bob dropped his voice to subterranean levels. “Sophie, Sophie, Sophie… No presents for girls who torment their sisters. I’m watching! And yes, I saw you hide that cookie under your pillow!”Sophie nodded solemnly through the lecture, then hung up with a suspicious gleam in her eye.”Well?” Mom asked, expecting victory. “What did Santa say?”Sophie shrugged, skipping away. “He said Madison’s getting coal this year. Apparently, she’s the real troublemaker. Also, he said you should check your own cookie stash, Mom!”A little girl smiling | Source: MidjourneyA little girl smiling | Source: MidjourneyAnd there you have it, folks! If these jokes made you laugh, share them faster than your relatives share embarrassing childhood stories at Christmas dinner! Keep spreading the holiday cheer with these 10 More Best Christmas Jokes. Ho ho ho!Cheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: MidjourneyCheerful Santa Claus laughing | Source: Midjourney

Entertainment

See All the Stars Arriving on the Red Carpet at the 2025 Grammys: Fashion, Glamour, and Star Power!

The 2025 Grammys red carpet has officially rolled out, and it’s everything fans were hoping for and more! The annual event, known for bringing together the biggest names in music, has once again served as the ultimate stage for celebrity fashion, stunning glamour, and jaw-dropping moments. From couture gowns to dapper suits, the stars arrived in style, each one making a statement with their unique looks. The Grammys never disappoint when it comes to star power, and this year’s arrivals were nothing short of spectacular.

As the flashing lights of the paparazzi cameras captured every moment, music’s finest strutted their stuff on the red carpet, ready to dazzle the world with their bold fashion choices. The 2025 ceremony has already created a buzz due to the highly anticipated performances, the celebration of groundbreaking artists, and the unforgettable looks that came along with it.

One of the standout arrivals was none other than pop sensation Ariana Grande, who wowed the crowd in a breathtaking custom gown that combined old Hollywood glamour with a modern twist. Her look included intricate beading, a dramatic train, and a striking color that complemented her signature beauty. The crowd couldn’t get enough of her radiant energy and polished look.

Beyoncé, always a red carpet queen, showed up in a show-stopping golden ensemble that had heads turning from every direction. With an intricate design and regal accessories, her fashion game was as fierce as ever, proving why she’s a legend not only in music but in fashion as well.

Meanwhile, Harry Styles brought his eclectic flair to the red carpet in a tailored suit that blended classic sophistication with a hint of avant-garde. His bold patterns and playful accessories made sure that his look was anything but ordinary, reflecting his signature fearless approach to fashion.

The night also saw the return of several other fashion-forward celebrities, including Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Drake, and Doja Cat, each one showcasing their unique style. Whether it was a minimalist monochrome look or a vibrant pop of color, the stars really brought their A-game in terms of fashion. Swift made an impact with a sleek metallic dress that hugged her curves perfectly, while Doja Cat made waves in a futuristic outfit that had everyone talking.

As always, the red carpet was more than just a place to show off outfits—it was a reflection of each star’s personality, their artistic journey, and the bold choices they’re willing to make. The 2025 Grammys red carpet was no exception, with the night serving as a reminder that music and fashion go hand in hand.

From the glamorous gowns to the tailored suits, the stars at the 2025 Grammys truly proved that they know how to turn heads. Whether it’s through bold, daring outfits or timeless elegance, the fashion at this year’s event is sure to be remembered for years to come. The 2025 Grammys red carpet was an unforgettable display of talent, style, and pure star power!

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Woman Attempting To Sleep With One Person From Every Country Shares The Worst Nationality In Bed

A woman has opened up about her sexual escapades and which country had the best (and worst) lovers

An adult entertainer who has slept with men from all over the world has spilled the tea on her worst and best lovers (so far).

Adult entertainer Coco Bae has slept with men from over 40 countries and counting.

Some of these include America, Canada, the UK, Israel, Australia, Haiti, and Coco wants to eventually cover all 195 countries.

As her mission continues, the adult star has been ‘collecting flags’ from each nationality she’s slept with to keep track of her sexual escapades.

“My rules are to count the country on his passport, not where the dude happens to be living at the time of our encounter,” she said.

Listing off the countries she’s ‘visited’ (if you get me), Coco went on to tell PerthNow:

“I’ve had men from America, Canada, the UK, Israel, Australia, Haiti, El Salvador, Holland, Norway, Greece, France, Belgium, Germany, Denmark, Ireland, Belize, Djibouti, Nicaragua, Italy, Guatemala, Switzerland and Argentina.”

“And then Honduras, Costa Rica, Thailand, Russia, Columbia? I’m not sure. Albania, Brazil. India, Spain, Peru, Lebanon, Algeria, Croatia, Serbia. Armenia, Scotland, Ukraine and New Zealand.” Impressive.

Coco also answered the question on everyone’s minds: which countries have so far been the best and worst in bed?

According to the adult star, Latinos are the most ‘intense’ in bed.

“My lovers from Brazil were the most enjoyable to be with,” she said.

“They were just up for having fun, whichever way it happens.”

Coco also revealed that men from more conservative countries are quite experimental when it comes to sex.

“Many of the conservative cultures enjoy the most ‘out there’ acts. For example, I have come across many Arab and Indian dudes who really like booty action in various forms,” said Coco.

As for the worst country in bed, apparently her most boring partners have been from Germany.

While they weren’t the best, Coco did praise German men being eager to please and how they apparently ask for feedback.

She also chatted to Australian radio hosts Kyle and Jackie O, where she shared what her experiences with Aussie men has been like.

“Australian men need to step it up a little bit,” she shared.

“You’re just not putting in any effort. And you need to wash your hands.”

Speaking of how much she loves a tradesman – a popular vocation in Australia – Coco encouraged guys to make sure they ‘scrub behind their fingernails’.

A fair point, if you ask me.

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Entertainment

Kanye West Shares Provocative Video Of Wife Bianca In Bed And Fans Can’t Stop Pointing Out How Big It Is

It’s pretty common for Kanye West to post photos of his wife, Bianca Censori, and for fans to go wild over them.

The ‘Golddigger’ rapper has shared a lot of pictures and videos of his Australian wife.

These range from her daring, barely-there outfits to her strange, all-in-one body stockings.

Kanye is also known for making bold comments to get attention, like speaking out against critics.

Recently, the couple has stirred up even more buzz with a new social media post.

They shared a video from their bedroom, and there’s one detail that fans just can’t stop talking about.

On Instagram, Kanye posted a video showing Bianca lying on a bed surrounded by pillows.

She was dressed in all white, including white heels and a tight-fitting outfit.

It looked like she was on her phone, not paying much attention to Kanye, who was breathing heavily behind the camera.

The fans overlooked Bianca’s outfit and focused on the enormous size of the bed she was on.

It looked twice the size of a Super King bed, with enough room for more than five pillows.

One fan commented, “Bed can fit 5 [families] with 6 individuals.”

Another added, “It’s gotta be a nightmare trying to find a fitted sheet for that!”

A third fan mentioned that the huge bed resembled the one from Kanye’s 2016 music video for ‘Famous’.

Kanye soon deleted the video without giving any reason.

Even though the video is no longer available, Kanye is no stranger to sharing provocative content featuring his wife, whether in revealing outfits or suggestive poses.

Bianca seems to be on board with her husband’s posts.

However, not everyone is thrilled, especially her father, who has previously voiced his concerns about the content.

According to a source speaking to DailyMail.com, Bianca’s father, Leo, has asked Kanye to meet with him to talk about the explicit content being shared.

The source said, “Kanye has been invited to go to Australia, and Bianca is hesitant to allow this to happen because she knows how her father will react.”

“Her dad still plans to have a sit-down with Kanye, and Leo will not be intimidated by Kanye’s power or control. No one is expecting this to be all rainbows and family portraits.”

Despite this, Bianca is reportedly more than happy to go along with her husband’s ideas.

An insider told PageSix, “People are confusing Bianca’s creativity. She is a phenomenal personality, a phenomenal actor, who can entertain the public.”

“She’s a performance artist. Bianca is as much a performer as Ye is.”

Bianca and Kanye have been married since 2022, following Kanye’s high-profile split and divorce from his ex-wife, Kim Kardashian. Kanye has four children with Kim: North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm.

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