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A Black baby was born to my wife, and I was by her side forever

There was an almost electric sense of expectancy in the delivery room. Emma, my wife, was lying on the hospital bed with her fingers clenched around mine and a look of excitement mixed with fatigue. A dreamlike atmosphere was created by the quiet voices of the nurses, the regular beeping of the monitors, and the doctor’s gentle words of encouragement.

It was this. The time we had been anticipating. Choosing baby clothes, experiencing small kicks in the middle of the night, and nine months of delight. We spent nine months wondering if our unborn child would have Emma’s golden hair. My angular cheekbones? The dimples that were inherited? Everything else in the room was broken by a piercing wail. The baby was here.

I looked over and saw the doctor gently lifting our baby, her face wrinkled up as she drew her first breaths, her tiny limbs wriggling. My eyes pricked with tears. She was flawless. But Emma’s terrified scream, which I had not anticipated, broke the moment.

“This isn’t my child!” The room became quiet. The nurses froze. The doctor paused in mid-step. I thought my wife would be overwhelmed, perhaps simply in shock from giving birth. However, the expression in her eyes was one of utter incredulity rather than simply fatigue.

In an attempt to maintain composure, one of the nurses gave a soft grin. She remarked, “She’s still attached to you,” as though to reassure my wife that nothing was wrong. Emma, however, gasped for air and shook her head angrily. “It’s not feasible! Never in my life have I dated a Black man!

The words were piercing and weighty as they hung in the air. Everyone was uncertain of how to respond, and the room remained strangely still. As I turned to face our daughter, a gorgeous newborn girl with skin that was substantially darker than either of ours, my heartbeat hammered in my ears. However, her features were definitely ours.

Emma was shaking next to me, and it felt like the whole world was tilting beneath her. I grounded her by squeezing her hand and making her look at me. I stated unequivocally, “She’s our baby,” in a firm voice. “That’s the only thing that counts.”

Emma’s gaze shifted from our daughter to me and back again. As a nurse gently placed the infant in her arms, she gasped. At first, she seemed hesitant to touch her, as though she was scared of something she didn’t comprehend. However, something changed the instant our daughter’s little fingers encircled her pinky.

She loosened her shoulders. Something softer replaced the stiffness in her face. She felt a mixture of relief, tiredness, and love as tears filled her eyes. She let out a trembling breath. She muttered, “She’s gorgeous.” The room seems to breathe once more. The nurses looked at each other but continued working. With a nod, the doctor and I exchanged a quiet agreement.

The days that followed were a haze. I found myself watching our kid nonstop while Emma recovered, trying to figure out what was going on. She had my chin, my nose, and even the same tiny frown I had as a newborn, so I knew without a doubt that she was my. However, Emma’s tirade persisted.

She had been so convinced, not because I had any suspicions or doubts about her. Emma was the first to propose the DNA test. “I just need to know,” she said one evening in a little, nearly embarrassed voice. “I do love her.” But I must comprehend.

So we did it. We waited after sending off the samples. Two weeks later, the results were received. Emma opened the email with shaking hands. My heart was racing as I stood behind her. As she read, she covered her mouth with one hand and gasped.

The screen showed her ancestry record, which in bold letters verified what we had never known: Emma had generations of African ancestry. She turned to face me, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I didn’t know,” she muttered. “All this time, I was unaware.”

I kissed the top of her head as I drew her into my arms. I muttered, “It doesn’t change anything.” “We own her. She was always. Emma laughed softly and drippingly. “I suppose my panic was in vain.” I grinned. “Well, people experience that during childbirth.” She pushed me and rolled her eyes, then turned to face our daughter, who was now soundly asleep in her cradle. There were no more questions after that. Just love. The world had its questions, of course.

Members of the family arched their brows. In supermarket stores, strangers made remarks on the discrepancies. “Is she adopted?” some even questioned. Emma would initially become uneasy when asked those questions because she wasn’t sure how to react. Then, however, she would smile and declare, “No,” with utter assurance.

We own her. We vowed to nurture our kid with pride in all facets of her background as the years went by. We studied the customs, background, and cultures associated with Emma’s DNA as we dug deeper into her newfound ancestry. We made sure our kid never doubted her place in the world by surrounding her with love.

She played with her fingers while sitting on Emma’s lap one evening when she was around five years old. She said, “Mommy?” “What causes my skin to differ from yours?” Emma brushed a curl from her forehead and grinned. “Because you are unique, my dear. You had a lovely past that we both shared. “Like a mix?” she tilted her head in question. “Exactly,” I remarked as I sat next to them. “Like the most exquisite painting, with both Mommy’s and Daddy’s colours.” Satisfied with the response, she smiled and resumed playing.

“Thank you for reminding me that day in the hospital,” Emma muttered as she sought for my hand as we watched her sleep that night. “For what purpose?” “That she belongs to us,” she declared. “That was all that was ever important.” And I knew without a doubt that I would always be there for them as I gazed at my daughter, who was so lovely and full of love. through each query. through each obstacle. through everything. Because appearances weren’t important in family. It wasn’t.

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Why You Should Avoid Killing House Centipedes

Centipedes are easy to recognize by their worm-like bodies, lots of legs, long antennas, yellow to dark brown colors, and small mouths with venom glands.

They can have 15 to 77 pairs of legs, which help them move quickly and climb walls.

Can a centipede bite you? Centipedes can bite and inject venom, but they usually aren’t dangerous to people or pets. Their bites might cause mild pain or redness, but nothing serious.

However, centipedes aren’t exactly creatures you’d want to welcome. Read on to learn more about centipedes, their predators, why you shouldn’t kill house centipedes yourself, and the benefits of using pest control services.

Five Facts About Centipedes You May Not Know
Here are some surprising facts about those centipedes in your basement:

  1. The number of legs a centipede has is linked to its age. Centipedes grow more legs as they molt, and if they lose legs, they can regrow them over time through molting. It might take several molts to fully recover lost legs.
  2. Centipedes are ancient creatures, with their ancestors dating back over 400 million years.
  1. Centipedes are surprisingly fast. Thanks to their many legs, segmented body, and waxy outer layer, they can move over a foot in less than a second when chasing prey or escaping predators.
  2. Centipedes eat a variety of animals. While smaller species go for insects, worms, and roaches, larger centipedes can handle much bigger prey.
  3. Some centipedes, like the common house centipede, can live for up to six years.

Even though their history is fascinating, you likely don’t want these creatures lurking in your basement.

What Are Centipedes’ Natural Predators?
Centipedes are hunted by birds, certain spiders, mice, frogs, beetles, and snakes. Larger centipedes, in turn, feed on animals like frogs and spiders. Predators like frogs and spiders usually target young or weak centipedes that can’t escape quickly.

Why You Shouldn’t Kill a House Centipede
If you spot a house centipede, it might be tempting to get rid of it yourself, but it’s better not to. Having a few house centipedes around isn’t always a bad thing.

Chilopoda Latreille, 1817

Centipedes can be helpful by getting rid of spiders, roaches, and other pests, without building nests or webs. However, their presence can become a problem. While a few centipedes might help control pests, a larger colony can be a nuisance and may even attract more unwanted pests.

Centipedes can live up to 10 years, so you probably don’t want them staying in your home for too long. Even if they aren’t a major problem yet, it’s a good idea to call pest control experts. An infestation might be a sign of a bigger pest issue, and centipedes aren’t always enough to fully manage harmful pests like cockroaches.

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Could Alzheimer’s Actually Start in Your Mouth?

Scientists are investigating a surprising possibility: gum disease may cause Alzheimer’s, challenging long-held assumptions about how the memory-robbing condition begins. Traditionally, doctors attribute Alzheimer’s to a mix of genetics, age-related brain changes, and environmental factors—but a growing body of research points toward gum health as a key player in the disease’s development. If these findings hold up, it might be time to upgrade our dental care routines.

Bacteria in the Brain?

Back in 2019, a team of experts noticed that the bacterium behind chronic gum disease (Porphyromonas gingivalis) turned up in the brains of people who had Alzheimer’s. Meanwhile, lab tests on mice revealed that oral infections could trigger the production of amyloid beta—those pesky proteins often linked to dementia. Although many researchers stop short of saying gum disease may cause Alzheimer’s outright, they agree it’s a connection worth exploring further.

The Mouth-Brain Connection

Stephen Dominy of Cortexyme, a startup that looks into all things neurodegenerative, once explained that we’ve suspected germs might spark Alzheimer’s for a while, but the evidence wasn’t strong enough. Then his team found markers of gum bacteria in both diagnosed Alzheimer’s patients and in some who hadn’t been diagnosed. So the real question is whether dementia leads to poor dental care—or if something lurking in your gums could help kick-start the disease. Either way, gum disease may cause Alzheimer’s is a hypothesis that’s impossible to ignore.

Should We Rethink Prevention?

For now, many experts say we shouldn’t panic. Regular brushing, flossing, and dentist visits are always good ideas, regardless of any potential Alzheimer’s link. Still, the notion that a seemingly distant infection could affect our brain health reminds us that the body is one interconnected system. Keeping an eye on gum health just might be another tool in fighting cognitive decline in the future.

All Images Including Featured Image Are Licensed With Freepik.

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Why ‘Dear Zachary’ is the most upsetting documentary ever made

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is hands down one of the saddest documentaries I’ve ever seen. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been so moved by a film before – I completely broke down and cried watching it.

It hit me in a way I wasn’t expecting, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since.

Gut-wrenching turn

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is one of the most captivating documentaries I’ve ever watched, and I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels that way. As heartbreaking and infuriating as this film is, it is still above all a beautiful tribute to friendship, courage and resilience.

If you haven’t seen Dear Zachary, it tells the heartbreaking story of Andrew Bagby, a 28-year-old doctor whose life was tragically cut short by his ex-lover, Shirley Jane Turner.

The film takes an even more gut-wrenching turn when it’s revealed that Turner was pregnant with Andrew’s child at the time of his death. A huge part of the documentary focuses on the relentless fight of Andrew’s parents, Kate and David Bagby, as they struggle to gain custody of their grandson, Zachary, and ensure his safety and future.

The film, which was written, produced, directed, edited, shot, and scored by Kurt Kuenne, was released in 2008. Kurt Kuenne and Andrew Bagby grew up side by side in the tranquil suburbs of San Jose, California.

Dear Zachary / Facebook

Their friendship was one of those rare, unbreakable bonds formed in the simplicity of shared childhood memories. As they navigated life together, their paths intertwined in ways only the closest of friends could understand — until a heartbreaking tragedy would change everything.

Born on September 25, 1973, to parents Kathleen and David Bagby, Andrew was a medical student. During his time at Memorial University in Newfoundland, he began a relationship with Shirley Turner, a recent medical school graduate who was nearly thirteen years his senior.

Andrew’s family, friends, and colleagues didn’t like Shirley due to her off-putting behavior. They couldn’t help but feel that Shirley wasn’t really a good match for Andrew – especially her tendency to make inappropriate or overly sexual comments bothered them.

Shot 5 times

Still, they chose not to say anything, respecting Andrew’s decision to keep on dating Shirley. After all, he hadn’t been in a relationship since his painful breakup with his ex-fiancée, and they understood that he might have been looking for someone to fill the void. They didn’t want to add to his struggles by questioning his choices.

After Andrew graduated in 2000, he moved to New York to begin a surgical residency, while Turner relocated to Iowa for her own career. Despite the distance, they maintained their relationship.

However, in 2001, Andrew found himself unhappy in his surgical residency and decided to switch to a family practice residency in Latrobe, Pennsylvania, which he felt was a better fit for him. In fact, he couldn’t have been happier.

But as time passed, the relationship between Andrew and Shirley began to deteriorate, with Shirley becoming increasingly possessive.

In October of that year, Shirley purchased a handgun along with ammunition and began taking firearms lessons. During this time, she exhibited increasingly obsessive behavior towards Andrew, constantly calling him and verbally abusing him during their phone conversations.

On November 3, 2001, during a visit to Pennsylvania, Andrew broke up with Shirley.

She returned to Iowa, but just two days later, she drove nearly 1,000 miles back to Latrobe. Early on the morning of November 5, she arranged to meet Andrew at Keystone State Park. Later that night, he was found dead by a homeless man searching dumpsters for aluminum cans.

The police would later confirm that Andrew had been shot five times: once in the face, once in the chest, once in the back of the head, and twice in the buttocks.

Shirley Turner was immediately suspected, as the ammunition found at the scene matched what she had purchased earlier.

A new, shocking turn

She told authorities that she had been bedridden and sick all day on November 5th, yet evidence showed she had made phone calls from Latrobe, used Andrew’s house phone to call in sick, and accessed several of her personal accounts from his computer.

By the time a warrant was issued for her arrest, Turner had already fled to Canada. Once she learned she was a suspect in the murder investigation, she returned to her hometown of St. John’s, Newfoundland. Meanwhile, Kurt Kuenne began gathering footage from old home movies and interviewing Andrew’s parents, David and Kathleen, for a documentary about his late friend’s life.

Soon, the tragic story would take a new, shocking turn.

In St. John’s, Shirley Turner made a shocking revelation — she was pregnant with Andrew Bagby’s child

She was arrested in December 2001, but shockingly released on bail as the extradition process to the U.S. dragged on. Turner’s lawyers used legal technicalities to delay her extradition, and in the meantime, she gave birth to a baby boy, naming him Zachary, on July 18, 2002.

Determined to be part of Zachary’s life, Andrew’s parents, David and Kathleen, moved to Canada in an effort to gain custody of their grandson. In November 2002, a provincial court ruled that there was enough evidence linking Turner to Andrew’s murder, leading to her re-arrest. David and Kathleen were granted custody of Zachary, but the legal battle was far from over.

In an unexpected twist, Turner wrote a letter to the judge who had locked her up. In an unusual move, she was given legal advice on how to appeal her arrest and imprisonment. In January 2003, Judge Gale Welsh granted her bail, controversially stating that Turner didn’t pose a threat to society at large. This meant that, despite the murder charge, Turner regained custody of Zachary, though David and Kathleen were able to arrange regular visitations.

While this legal tug-of-war unfolded, filmmaker Kurt Kuenne traveled across the United Kingdom and the U.S., interviewing Andrew’s friends and extended family for a documentary. He even visited Newfoundland in July 2003, where he spent time with Zachary, trying to piece together the tragic story of his friend’s life and legacy.

On August 18, 2003, Shirley Turner tragically took her own life—and that of her thirteen-month-old son, Zachary—by jumping into the Atlantic Ocean in a heartbreaking murder-suicide. The devastating loss sent shockwaves through Andrew Bagby’s parents, David and Kathleen, who were not only grieving the death of their grandson but also enraged by the Canadian legal system’s failure to protect him. They launched a campaign to reform Canada’s bail laws, convinced that these laws had allowed Turner to kill her child and herself.

Kurt and Zachary / IDFA

Meanwhile, Kurt Kuenne, who had been working on his documentary about Andrew’s life, found himself facing roadblocks in his efforts to interview the prosecutors and judges involved in Turner’s release. Despite this, the tragedy sparked a broader conversation. In 2006, a panel from Newfoundland’s Ministry of Justice released a report stating that Zachary’s death was preventable and that the government’s handling of the case was inadequate. Turner’s psychiatrist was found guilty of misconduct for helping her post bail, and the director of Newfoundland’s child welfare agency resigned.

David Bagby, consumed by grief and anger, poured his emotions into writing Dance with the Devil: A Memoir of Murder and Loss, which became a best-seller in Canada in 2007. Kurt Kuenne, who had been tirelessly documenting Andrew’s life, finished his film—one that had evolved into something far more profound than he could have imagined. The documentary, a raw and emotional tribute, was dedicated to the memories of both Andrew and Zachary.

But it wasn’t just a story about tragedy; it was about the resilience of the people left behind. The film ends with David and Kathleen, along with their friends and family, reflecting on Andrew and Zachary’s lives. Kurt, in the process of making the film, realized that it was not only about Andrew’s death but also about the profound impact the Bagbys had on those around them. The documentary was, in many ways, a tribute to their strength and perseverance in the face of unimaginable pain.

Wikipedia Commons

”The biggest challenge for me came in the editing of the movie, because this film transitioned from a project intended only for loved ones to one that was intended for a mass audience. I wanted the audience to feel like they knew Andrew and his parents, but I also needed to keep the story moving forward, to keep the audience engaged,” Kurt said.

When Kurt Kuenne set out to make Dear Zachary, it was originally meant to be a personal tribute — a cinematic scrapbook filled with loving memories for the son who would never get the chance to know his father, Andrew Bagby.

Kurt interviewed friends, family, and those who had known Andrew, capturing their remembrances of him in a film that would, in its own way, preserve the essence of his life. What began as a project for a small circle of loved ones soon turned into something much more profound.

As the tragic events surrounding Andrew and Shirley Turner unfolded, Kuenne realized that this story had the potential to reach far beyond personal circles.

He knew that Dear Zachary could bring attention to a flawed legal system that had failed to protect Zachary, and so, with great courage, he decided to release the film to the general public. The response was overwhelming, but the pain of watching such a heartbreaking story was almost too much for many to bear.

The film was difficult to watch, raw, and filled with anguish, yet it became a powerful tool for change.

Kuenne didn’t stop at the release of the film. He sent copies of Dear Zachary to every one of Canada’s 400+ members of Parliament, hoping to spark a much-needed conversation about the country’s bail laws. And it worked. After attending a screening of the film, MP Scott Andrews of Avalon was moved to action. On October 23, 2009, he introduced Bill C-464—also known as “Zachary’s Bill”—to the House of Commons. The bill aimed to ensure that the safety of children would be the foremost concern during bail hearings and custody disputes, especially when the person in question had been charged with a serious crime.

The bill was a direct response to the failure to protect Zachary, and it sparked conversations about the need for change in the Canadian justice system. After being introduced to the Senate in March 2010, it was signed into law on December 16, 2010—over seven years after Zachary’s death and more than two years after Dear Zachary was released. It was a hard-fought victory, one that showed the power of one film to change the course of legislation and protect future children from the kind of tragedy Zachary faced.

Even though Dear Zachary was an incredibly difficult watch for so many, its impact was undeniable. It didn’t just capture the life of one man and the loss of a child — it became a catalyst for change. The film’s release and the law it helped inspire were a testament to the power of storytelling to enact real-world change, proving that even the most painful stories can ultimately lead to justice and a better future for others.

Kuenne’s film is important because it doesn’t shy away from the brutal reality of loss. It’s not just a documentary about a man’s murder, but a heartfelt exploration of how families cope with grief, injustice, and the emotional scars that linger long after the cameras stop rolling. The rawness and honesty of the film make it not just a tribute, but a call to action — reminding us of the importance of justice, protection, and the indelible bonds of family.

And in my view, the Bagbys are among the most resilient and courageous people to ever walk this earth. They sacrificed so much to fight for the only remaining piece of their beloved son. Their strength in the face of unimaginable loss is nothing short of extraordinary.

After watching this, I honestly can’t decide if I’m more angry at the system that mishandled the entire case or at Shirley herself. It’s just heartbreaking. If only the system had done its job… if only.

For those with Amazon Prime, the film is available to watch there, and it’s also streaming on Pluto TV. Please share this article so more people can experience this incredibly tragic, yet important story.

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